A Very Busy Week

It helps to have Anzac Biscuits on hand when the days are flying by with company arriving to help with the transitions.  I have found the perfect place for Lee to go next. On the day I had my appointment to look over the place, a room became available…..a perfect room. A deposit was put down the following day. All requirements have been met on our end thanks to having our doctor close and a long time friend arrive in time to keep me focused and help get things sorted out and hidden here in the apartment where I can pack them in my car without him seeing and asking questions.

Another friend is moving the furniture from here that Lee will need into his apartment room early next week and Lee will follow. A furniture store is delivering a new recliner/rocker to the memory care facility next week. The only hold up is how soon I can get possession of the room because the woman moving from it to another available room is held up because where she is going has not been cleared out after the occupant went to a “higher calling” as they say for passing away.

My job is to get the room/apartment completely set up before Lee arrives so it looks a bit familiar with the things he sees each day. Several paintings of mine will be on the walls. His favorite blankets on the bed and in his chair, a TV sitting on his mothers old chest of drawers, and a chair pulled up to a table he made years ago using sewing machine legs for a base. On that table will be a large wooden bowl that he turned a long time ago with rocks that thoughtful friends have sent him and another turned piece holding turkey feathers. The two lamps in the room will be ones he made out of old split logs.

Of course his white bag that he keeps his cards in will also be on the table. Again, thank you everyone who has sent him notes and cards this past couple of years. He likes holding that bag. I can also take several pairs of his work gloves to tuck into a drawer.

The facility told me that the maintenance staff will take men like Lee with a need to be outside working on things around to the shed and find small manageable jobs they can do. He would love to be back in a vehicle for maintenance riding around ready with his gloves on. This seems the most perfect place for him and I can’t tell you how happy I am that we kept up our long term care insurance.

Here he is the evening before our savior friend left for home.

Each resident of the memory ward has something on their door so they can find their own room easier. I am going to put this bamboo head on a hanger to take down when I set the room up. He faces it when he takes his chair at the table on the porch.

There is so much he does not remember but having a sense of familiar around him will help both of us.

Today I found the necessary things in one stop…a shower curtain and rings, laundry basket, waste bin, shampoo, soap, aspirin and boxes of tissues. Already set aside are necessary linens, battery operated toothbrush to take the place of his electric one, toothpaste, blankets, etc. Our friend even re-covered a chair for him to pull up to his table while she was here. She accomplished a lot in just eight days while keeping me focused.

I did try to work on my Drawing fabric scraps book…..

Smudged pencil sketches of fragments that are fitting my mood of worn out….and another stitched scrap is put into place.

I will write more updates as time permits…..

Til later….

Beautiful Weather and A Look at Old Sketchbook Bindings

I am looking in the studio to see what to part with in the “unnecessary stuff” category. There are so many bindings that I used to stitch pages together for usable sketchbooks, so I am going to post some here in this blog as a way to take another and maybe last look.

You remember when you just learned how to do coptic binding so you did a bunch to fit into a wooden box? And it was so necessary to put marbled papers on the inside covers? Right. I never wrote or drew in these because whatever appeal they had did not last. They are still in this old tools box waiting for me to do something!

And when I thought it was a cool idea just because I had a loom, to weave the covers with collected Nature bits and make pages for drawing/painting to attach inside the covers. And then of course to stitch the books together. How dumb was that!

And one of many covered in fabrics that I just wanted to own a half yard of…coptic again.

And the sensible field journal of soft thick leather. You just wanted to use this book because of how it felt in the hand.

And a patched together kangaroo and cane toad hide book that probably is an all time favorite of the many made to use on Australian adventures.

A very appealing cover of mixed papers and bags from Australia became another favorite.

A large book made for a Penland auction with a section for watercolors made from there housed inside.

A sketchbook for nothing but Eucalyptus drawings with a cover made using layered book board that has been carved into to get the image after having a thin paper covering that is pressed into the recesses. Small cork paper leaves fill the spine so when it is handles you can hear the sound of wind in the Eucalyptus. Images so far are all silver point drawings. I will get back to it.

A favorite wrapped journal with removable signatures and housing local pigment watercolors.

Filling in the concertina pages of contact prints with watercolors of wildflowers. I need to just finish it and not be so critical of how bad the contact printing is on a poor choice of paper.

And some of the watercolors of wildflowers in the six way book. Hundreds of pages to fill in this one.

Final image is of folios done five years ago with the news of Lee’s dementia. Drawing my feelings on these small pages and then stitching was soothing in a way back then.

More later……

Four Days Later!

Our front yard is looking better and better. The pond man comes next week and hopefully will stir up the so far unseen fish. If they all perished since last fall then that is the way things go. I am picking where my sadness goes these days.

Lee and I walked the trail the other morning. It was lovely.

Then back up near the house.

Our friend, Marla, comes tomorrow to stay for a bit to help me sort things out. One of her first jobs on Wednesday will be to come with me to a memory care home about an hour away from here. They were very kind and understanding on the phone and came recommended by two of our caregivers. Lee is more set than ever that he is going “back home”.  He is angry at the “man” who told him to get ready and now he can’t go. I want each of our kids to see him in his house here before I make a decision as to when would be best to put him someplace else. It is getting difficult and I am not a nurse. Last night I found him just sitting in the living room at 1:00 am. I have no idea how long he was there. But he needs to be busy so now has collected more rocks only to smash them into smaller pieces. We are filling the black bamboo bed with rocks and he used to be able to just do that on his own but loses track of what to do if I or a caregiver are not with him constantly.

The good thing is he is easily distracted and loves his cats.

He needs more help getting dressed and we have given up on button down shirts. Next I will order him some pull-on jeans. I will ask at the care home what is best to have in the way of clothes for him. I will ask a lot of questions to make this easier for both of us.

So back to the little drawing I have time to do…..the Marks book is finished with the bamboo bed we now fill with rocks.

Now I am stitching small scraps together and drawing in the next book. Here is page 1.

This book will take more time but it is just what I need right now. Something I have control over with marks of what I used to do.  Once I get control over the “way too much stuff” problem more will get easier.

What I think about now is the cleared spaces in my next place. I am hoping for tall walls for the large pieces I won’t leave behind and the long table to draw, paint, stitch, etc below the artworks going to the high ceiling. A kitchen area, deck outside facing trees, bedroom for me and the very old lady’s bedroom set of two dressers and a double bed. She was a neighbor of Lee’s when he was growing up and we always kept the furniture given us from her children when she passed as guest room furniture. I get to be my own guest soon. Maybe another bedroom with a simple bed and my much loved Migun bed to relieve pain in the back, neck, legs. The walls will be pale beige-ish grey and mostly bare except the Aboriginal art that hangs over my long work table. I will have vegetables that I may or may not cook. And every afternoon right at 4:15 I will pour a scotch that takes an hour to drink…not because it is a large glass but because I will take slow spaced out sips and remember my fellow scotch drinkers and smile. Yes, 4:15 will be my memory hour and I will be able to smile my way through it.

I watched borer bees yesterday. How they have some sort of mechanism to drill body sized holes into wood and then go into that private space and stay there until they want to come out, sip some nectar from a beautiful flower and then go back in, turning their fuzzy little butts to the world outside until hungers of various kinds make them back out to check their options.

It may be a while before I get back to Sara and her blues…but I will get there. Just not this week. I need to put my own obsessions into boxes and move them along.

Til later.

 

 

Finally A Day In The Apartment!

Today a very nice caregiver came early and now she and Lee are sorting and placing rocks. I am over here with the windows open to this nice sunny day.

The yardman may appear sometime today with more trees and bushes to plant. Two days ago he mowed, cut down tall weeds, pulled some short ones, used some weed killer and blew off the trail, walks and driveway. Lee and I watched from the porch.

We went to the store the other day. Lee stayed in the car while I picked up groceries and then we both went into the garden center to pick up six ferns for the porch. And today we found the Nasturtium Lady at a town market and bought six to stick in the pots on the deck. Nasturtiums are such a happy plant.

The ferns influenced the drawings in the marks book. So did filling hummingbird feeders.

And yesterday I took some time when Lee was dozing to pin together some small swatches of cloth for my next book. I will stitch the pieces all together and then stitch them onto blank pages in the book to inspire words or drawings…probably back to my mechanical pencil for this one.

I just reread the beginning 539 words of my next short story. I don’t think I will edit much, a word here and there maybe but I like what I have so far.  And today Sara and I finally have time to talk.

Next week a friend comes to stay here in the apartment and spend days with Lee and me mostly helping me make decisions of what to start packing up. The next month our daughter and her partner come down and will also take some things home with them. In June maybe our son can bring his truck and a trailer to take more. Once the totally unnecessary is gone I can decide what will stay until I move elsewhere when Lee is not living with me. It will be a while but I do not want to face it all at once if things happen suddenly.

I am thinking Asheville area would be nice. Some place where there is help if I need it, and plenty of privacy. I don’t want to be put in a home with Crystals and Tiffanys stopping in every day. And yes, I am aware that there are places where the Hazels and Hildegards don’t really care for the Sandys. It is a delicate balance, our comfort zones.

My dinner parties are over so the kids will get even more wine glasses and dishes than they took last time. When I can I plan on going to a real restaurant with fussed over food and good wines. That will definitely be when I am alone as Lee has a hard time managing food on and off his plate.

The other day when the cleaning lady was here I practiced sorting and throwing. The bowl of ten year old Christmas cards also held two sketchbooks, two whisk brooms, a bird nest and three balsam airplanes. The sketchbooks, whisk brooms and bird nest went back in the bowl. The trash bag of cards, etc. made its way over to the book shelves and were joined by travel brochures and maps and other not needed bits. But the coup de gras was dumping all of those 19 Crimes wine corks that filled the large wooden bowl in the dining room. In with them went the Eucalyptus leaves plucked from stems bought at the florist and not used for contact printing. Also into the bag went dried stems gathered by a friend from the yard to put on the table the last Thanksgiving dinner they came here for. At least five years ago, maybe more. Why do we save stuff like that!

I think I must have thought that it would be the final goodbye to toss things out. Like the tossing would take the memory with it. Well it doesn’t! I still remember them, the dinner, and her contribution of countless shredded wheat rolls from an old family recipe. I still remember how much Lee did not like the rolls especially after my serving them up day after day long after the company left.

When I get to Asheville one day I will take them out to dinner. She and I will sketch while we wait for our food and talk about Thanksgiving dinners here. It will happen even though I finally threw out her dried weed centerpiece.

And I will still drink 19 Crimes wine. Some even today while visiting with Sara and looking over her blue collection.

And Sadie because she poses so well.

Til later…