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Much Much Better

Posted on by Sandy Webster

Yesterday we walked the other side of the river at the Riverwalk in Murphy. It is beautiful and so well maintained. I gathered goose feathers to do drawings of while waiting for phone calls.

We moved Lee yesterday to a nursing home just twenty minutes from me and near the walks at the dam. He was not exactly who our son was but took the hour drive good naturedly going from one place to another. The new people seem as happy to have him as the other place was glad to see him go after trying all they could legally do to treat him there, and coming up short.

We celebrated with the Copper Doors gift of a sumptuous Pinot Noir last night.

And this morning at the dam a lovely shot of fog finally lifting on our situation.

I just returned from moving everything but large pieces of furniture from Lee’s old room….just five weeks after I dropped him there. Now a bit more paper work and we can both settle down.

Til later.

Not Yet

Posted on by Sandy Webster

I think Lee is getting closer to being moved to the Nursing Home near me. It has been another week of distress as paperwork gets to the right places. It is so complicated and difficult to keep track of that I keep a stack of different pads of paper for each person involved as we work through the process.

Surely next week…..

In the meantime. Walks to the dam.

This morning I decided to look in the other direction and focus on things that depict a more hopeful perspective.

Surprises from friends and family.

Coated strawberries arriving via FedEx with a lovely note from “The Gs”.

A take out order of Oyster Shooters from a favorite restaurant that thoughtfully threw in popovers and a lovely bottle of Pinot Noir.

Patches needed to spend the night at the vets due to a severe upper respiratory infection. Patrick picked up the cat, the tab, and the oysters before coming back home. She is so much better.

I did another page in the book using an old print of myself on cloth. Then drawings of parts of sticks Lee brought in and a bourbon straight up.

It is nice having someone here to share meals with. It gives me practice with being around other people. Covid and Lee’s and my circumstances have had a way of keeping me isolated these past few years.

Today Patrick is putting in a higher speed modum for the computer system, installing a “see-all” camera for the doorbell/front door so I can see from the studio who is here. Then he will readjust the dryer vent outside so that I can reach it to clean the screen of accumulated lint.

And today I went back to carving.

This an old pine plank that I carved of a male figure based on some work I was doing on masculinity in graduate school. Now I am completely removing that section of “feelings” to fill in with smaller prints of how things change in the life of a man. How “what matters” is so temporary. I would like a long series of them in a row on some Japanese kozo paper that will take the number of male figures I would like.

It feels good to carve away what was there and think about the small carvings that will fill each one’s center.

Til later…..

 

 

It Did Not Get Better

Posted on by Sandy Webster

I like this odd couple. They just go through their lives thinking it will all be just fine. But sometimes it isn’t.

The Nursing Home gave their one bed to a patient already in their care who took a turn for the worse. Lee would be on a waiting list. A scramble is now on to find a place for him. The cost per month will double. Assets will need adjusting.

His decline resulted in sitters that needed paying out of pocket were called in for twelve hour shifts to stay with him at night. His medications have been adjusted.

I walk the dam each morning to clear my head and prepare for the next bit of news that I no longer expect to be good.

The full moon was setting late last week when worries overt00k every minute of the day. Now our son has arrived to help me keep it together.

To add to problems our cat Patches is wheezing and snorting. She is also losing weight. A vet appointment in two days.  Sadie our other cat just keeps looking for Lee.

My latest addition to my sketch book from last week.

I am practicing sitting in his chair. I am reading a book. I am making calls. I am getting offers to help…but with what! I am saving one friends kind offer of bringing his truck and driving two hours to get here and haul things to one place or another. I am saving him as a gift to myself to have him come down and carve wood blocks with me. Someone in the studio would be wonderful when I have Lee settled yet again.

Movers can be called when I need to bring all those things to make Lee feel at home need to come back home. And Patrick has his truck and can do it if necessary. But for now we wait and hope they can manage Lee until another place is found.

It will get better….just not as soon as we hoped. The sun still comes up.

This morning.

Til later…..

Remembering How Things Change

Posted on by Sandy Webster

Remember how I said I trust nothing? I took this picture of Lee a couple years ago as we walked the dam and thought it perfectly depicted the fog he was entering with dementia.

This morning at three am I received a call that he had fallen again in his room at the Memory Care facility. Then at 8:30 am they asked me to come down and see him. He was not at all in the condition the psych ward had told us he was. He could not walk and chattered nonsense. He was not sure who I was, forgot as soon as he remembered.

The Memory Care place can not deal with this much physical failure and told me a Nursing Home was the only answer. He also needs someone to spend twelve hour shifts from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. in his room to help him if he falls or needs to go to the bathroom. Luckily this afternoon they found people willing to do that from their own Care facility. It is a holiday weekend and if worse came to worse I would have to go and spend the night in his room.

I called the new Nursing Home built on the road to the dump (the one Lee and I watched go up on our weekly trash trips). They have a room available and all paperwork is being faxed to them. It will take a few days and then Lee will be taken there to be isolated for two weeks during covid times just to be safe.

I had other plans for him three and a half weeks ago when we furnished his room and got everything just so.

“Just so” is such a temporary condition.

My friend dropped off a bottle of Crown Royal Reserve this afternoon. A good nights sleep, a walk at the dam, trip to the bank to pay these miracle night watchmen.

Til later….