I took Lee for a drive after company left for home. Christmas day was hard for him. He became confused with all the goings on and just put his coat on and went outside. He stayed in his shop with our son for several hours and then returned in better spirits. Too much change from his routine is very difficult.
He also became concerned that we might lose our home and that we were financially struggling. This took a couple of days to make him understand that we own our home and the land it sits on. I could also show him that we have money in accounts to take care of any problems that might arise.
One of the things that helped was showing him the sketchbook I made of the building of this house fourteen years ago. I recorded every step and the cost of each item and labor that went into building the house. I turned the pages very slowly and pointed to the different things that were drawn in. He calmed down and felt good that we can stay here.
Sometimes lately he asks who I am, but not often. When I tell him we have been together fifty-two years he smiles and wonders how that is possible. Frankly I do too. We are very different personalities but it has worked and I am the only one who can get him through this very unstable time.
Today I put on a pot of chili for his lunch. It is amazing what the smell of something cooking can do to make a person feel safe. It is a dreary day of damp rain.
I wish I could find a way to send this weather to Australia. I worry about friends down under and fear for their recovery from such horrific weather full of heat, wind and fire.
A friend from there is just starting to deal with dementia in her own husband. My advice was to find a small room and into a corner of that room, whisper the foulest words that come to mind. (I chose two favorites and just repeat them over as tears fall). Then I wipe my face and get on with it.
When friends call and only talk about all the things they are doing, I am relieved that they don’t say, “How are things, really, Sandy?” Depending on the time of day, Lee’s anxiety, how deep I have dipped into self pity, I can always just change the subject or say “It’s fine.” or find a reason to ring off.
I am glad for the blog outlet this morning.
And I have gotten back to my Bush Book but just enough to get an Eastern Bluebird, Copperhead snake and a good start on a box turtle. Later today I will get some more done…that’s the plan.
But here are the last four days of Drawing a Day with Haiku.
A carved wooden box
slides open to reveal
some hidden compartments.
Ceremonial
rattle to hold and shake and
feel my own power.
( I made this many, many years ago and love the clunking sound of lumps of copper I put inside.)
It took some time to
draw Polly Adams Sutton’s
cedar bark basket.
Another basket
of raffia, reed, hide by
Theresa Ohno.
And finally a picture that is what I strive for when I get through using this corner in the bathroom for blue language. It will be my new facebook picture.
Til later.