First day of Spring

Posted on by Sandy Webster

This is right now..blossoms out the window in the woods. But earlier this week:

Rain and clouds to match the mood here. Caregivers did not show twice. Lee left with no way to get outside. But one day without rain he pulled at the wooden pieces that he put there to hold grape vines until they and that section of vines are now gone. If he doesn’t see leaves, it must be dead. No worries. The yard men are coming to put trees and mulch down next week.

Lee also had a tooth extracted yesterday and recovered quickly. A person could go a bit mad trying to explain to a person with dementia that they need to have a tooth out. I just had to go all in and say that if it didn’t come out then all the teeth left would start falling out causing great pain. He got that, liked the ones who told him to hold still and congratulated him on how well he did and then proceeded to tell me over and over how glad he was that I took care of getting him there….a full ride of one and one half hours’ gratitude.

I also had time to write an explicit email to family on exactly how the day goes here from awakening to collapsing into bed. Then they can decide on when to come down after we are all vaccinated. Just not all at once. Those types of holidays are over. Way too much confusion. As our son put it, “We want to be a distraction, not a disruption.”  Perfect.  Also our friend who is like family will come down if I ever need surgery to look after both of us with a caregiver. My annual physical is coming up and of course I wake in the night with thoughts of tragic discoveries. Wish I could keep my imagination in check! But I feel good that she will make the sacrifice.

And the marks book continues.

My counter stools came back from upholsterers and all dining room chairs are now in their hands. An excellent job and I did not have to buy new stools.

After looking at my last post with pictures of my studio I think I need to get rid of things…seriously get rid of things. Of course the first thing I did this morning was buy more linen. It was on sale and who wouldn’t want to wear a pair of pants in “dark lotus”?

But as family arrive with empty cars and trucks they can take some of the things away. Artwork or parts that could be.  After they make their selection I will toss the rest. A while back I had asked the new director of the folk school near here to consider using the barn to host a large garage sale for local artists to unload usable equipment and materials to others looking for same. But it never came to fruition and I can no longer take part if it did, so time to toss. I don’t live in a spot that lends itself to garage sales and again, those days are gone.

A promise from caregiver agency that I will get my four afternoons this next week. But after last week, I wait until I see them before packing up my stuff to escape to the apartment.

Well, the leaking fish pond should be full by now. It takes twice as long because I have to use a different hose. Lee took a decided dislike to the old one that was quicker. And it is getting on lunch time…something mushy for Lee.  Something I can eat quickly for me. Always have to be ready to fix something.

Til later…

Escaping Again

Posted on by Sandy Webster

 

I have escaped over here to the apartment which is just a bit down the driveway from our house above. My studio is on the lower level and today I went down there to take pictures of how neglected it looks.

Where I wrote and read.

Where I carved wooden blocks and thought about weaving.

Where I piled things and kept frames for work as it finished.

Where I put things.

Linens waiting to be sewn up.

And the tai chi wire and rock figures that remind me how long it has been……almost five years.

And when I leave this house to find somewhere that lets me be myself in a world of others trying to hang on, this most certainly will come with me.

Lee found it at the dump not long after we moved here in 1993. I remember the man wrote it on a store carton of some paper product. He framed it with lumber scraps and then painted it. How long it sat in his yard before he either gave up or she showed up, is anyone’s guess. I always loved his curly “G”s and the need to place periods here and there. He himself must have also been very serious.

It has been a constant reminder of my own shortcomings and will have a much more prominent place than the washroom of my studio.

I did get the Marks drawings finished up.

Some of these black pens seem to have an endless supply of ink in them!

I finally threw out all the sticks I put on the table last November.  Now that old pitcher is filled with forsythia.

I keep a copy of Trusting the Tether Line book on the table to put the thank you notes from those who received one. My memoir writing instructor was especially pleased to get one as I did so little memoir writing in her class. Others have emailed me their thanks and comments on the poems that most resonate with them. I am glad I wrote it and have kept two back for our children to read later on.

Below are two gifts that came in the mail yesterday from recipients of the book.

From Rosie in Australia a book for me to “sing along as you draw.” It is a continuous sheet from those old piano rolls that has covers of handmade papers from her sister, Barb, (also a recipient of the book) and a contact printed silk bag to keep my songs in. It all is the weight of a feather and I look forward to using it. So thoughtful and all the way from down under. Such a perfect gift! I must say the support, good wishes and countless cards with small gifts to lift my spirits has been wonderful coming from friends down there. The other beautiful thing to come in the mail yesterday was the contact printed card seen here. It is from a friend in St. Louis who when last seen, we were gathered around a dining table sharing poetry after dinner. Her words in the card are a reminder of why I miss her and others in St. Louis who I used to see often. I hope we get some of those times back, if only for a little while.

Now I have a little over two hours to get back to my next short story. And just a note of thanks to Gwen for her enthusiasm over the last one. Those kind of responses make me want to keep at it.

Til later…

Getting Ready for Spring

Posted on by Sandy Webster

Long afternoon shadows on the porch with wine and Lee looking down at some rocks he may want to move around. But this morning he is with a caregiver who could only come at this time so I am in the apartment earlier than usual. Also here is the cleaning lady and the man who put the trail in. He and I are discussing new plantings of trees and bushes to hide the neighbors additions and parked vehicles that we see from the kitchen window.

It is most unfortunate that after all the investment we made in buying and surveying property so that not one homeowner would have to look at their neighbor we end our time here with someone who not only decided to make a full size home out of a cabin that we shared a driveway with, but rents it out continually all year. It is my own fault for not buying it when offered a few years ago and moving their driveway to the adjoining road away from us and then reselling the cabin with a new entrance and address. I just assumed that whoever bought it would be like the owners, using it as a vacation home twice a year at most. Lesson is, assume nothing. But the yard man is helping out with his expertise on plantings to block the view. Extra traffic on a steeply curved driveway, he can’t help with.

But today he is laying fresh mulch and pine straw, and checking out the trail. He will be spending several days here this season as we can no longer keep up the work that needs doing.

I found this fragile leaf on the trail the other day and had to bring it inside as a reminder how lovely “oldness” can be.

And keeping up with the marks book. I decided to leave the birdhouse uncolored.

Then on a chilly morning…palm trees!

And I finally started the Sticks and Stones Book.

It seemed a bit boring, so I decided to give the new graphite watercolor pencils a try to enhance the leaves and drawings.

It will take a long time to complete but looks interesting so far.

And the other day I saw a video on Ikebana using sticks. Shortly after Lee was wrapping a vine around some sticks to toss over the bank. I rescued it and made this for the kitchen window. I might just collaborate with him again on a larger piece. Problem is that Ikebana only looks its best against a plain backdrop…..hard to find in our house.

That’s it for now…might have a bit of apartment lunch….cheese, crackers, touch of wine.

Til later…

 

Moving Along

Posted on by Sandy Webster

In the Marks book I am looking at stippling again for the next book, Sticks, Stones and Bones. It takes quite a bit of time and color doesn’t look right on the drawings. I also tried out my new watercolor graphite pencils. They are soft enough but rely on a watercolor brush to get the color moved around the right way. And the brush needs to be tiny for the drawings I want to do.

So…

The next double page in the book is drawn in with parallel marks.

Then the colors added that took away from the marks.

So…..

I am going over the sections and patterns with a Uni Ball Vision Elite fine which is my widest marking and permanent pen.

My capabilities are a bit limited when it comes to 2 D works unless it is graphite with eraser handy or acrylics with scraping and layering over the bad parts to make them look better.

Oh well, I hope this does not mean I have reached my limits in the Marks book. But I do have to say that the clothes and shoes pages are my favorites along with the landscapes of lines, dots and bunny/bird/nest. I might have peaked earlier on.

I was listening to Pandora on my Iphone while drawing just now and heard this old song from Bob Dylan….Girl from Red River Shore. The main person (Dylan using his voice) asks the girl from Red River Shore to marry him. She replies, “Go home and live a quiet life.” Isn’t that the kindest rejection for marriage? She could simply be saying she is not an easy person to live with, rather than for him to get lost. To which he claims that now he is “wearing the clothes of misery.” I just had to write those two lines down…..”clothes of misery”…..isn’t that a good way to express a state of sadness? The poor guy is now bereft…another favorite word…bereft.

Just a side note here…it is hard to tap your toe and be bereft at the same time.

It has taken me awhile to get into my second short story but once I realized the main character was not a young man but considerably older, AND what his tattoo was an image of, it is going easier. Sometimes you just come into their lives at the wrong time and they stay silent….now he is easier to get to know.

Here is the opening paragraph:

Coming Home

Charlie turned the coffee on and looked out of the kitchen window. The sun had yet to break the horizon when he began to stretch into his tai chi movements. His bare feet gripped the tiles as his body flowed into the first movement with a long inhale if breath, slight pause, then turned into another to exhale just as slowly. Lowering his left arm to flow into a third position he paused to stare at the tattoo just below his elbow. It marked him, made him feel branded, and forever connected. He raised his fingers to his lips before gently laying them against his arm.

Coming Home is the working title and gives me some direction. Also the kitchen is an important location of each story. That keeps me from bouncing around too much. I might reword some of the opening but it will mostly stay the same. And once I saw the tattoo so clearly and wrote what it means to him, I thought I wanted one just like it. Never wanted a tattoo before…Now rethinking that….

I am going to get out of this dining room chair where I am sitting. They are so uncomfortable! Since Covid, the one person who has sat in the chairs as company throughout the years, and now comes for lunch to give me someone to talk to and visit Lee, said, “I need to move into a more comfortable chair.” No one ever said they were that bad before but Covid has brought out a much appreciated honesty in so many of us. I am going to try and find a person to reupholster them…the counter stools as well. All of them I covered myself and thought I was so clever at the time. Should have read up on what type of foam to get. Always learning things a bit late, aren’t we.

Til later….