Some Good Days

Posted on by Sandy Webster

I saw this sign on our walk this morning at the dam. It seemed appropriate for me now. I can stop watching and waiting for what I need to do next for Lee. It is out of my hands and the care he needs now is not at all what I or even the Memory Care Home can do for him.

It will be a couple of weeks before I can see him and only after I make an appointment and he is brought out to where I will be. I will never see his room but know that his favorite cow picture that I painted in 1984 and his television are in there, And as of this morning his recliner.

In that wing they wander in and out of each other’s rooms and yesterday Lee was seen wearing someone’s hat and carrying his stuffed cat under his arm. He is on another medication to keep him from getting overly agitated but having his cat to hold onto helps. It is the process of dementia and they are equipped there to understand and help him.

Here is his view if he gets near a window.

I took the Ankaret Dean basket that I bought at an exhibition in Canada in 1988 and kept in our living room ever since. It was what I took to his room in Memory Care for his sticks if he continued to collect them. He did not but put all his small rocks in it with feathers and some postcards. When an attempt was made by him or cleaning staff to pick it up, it became unraveled.

I decided to put it on the trail for me to continue to put feathers and rocks inside. I can see it from my studio.

It has been pushed into this old stump by the trail so with the rocks for additional weight it will be hard to knock loose. Come fall I will fill it with the beautiful leaves he and I found last year.

Our son, Patrick will return home this Saturday. He has been so helpful and fun to have around. I will miss our “board” meals.

Speaking of meals, I am going out to dinner tonight for the first time in almost two years. We are meeting friends at a local brewery to eat on the screened porch. I will comb my hair and maybe even try a bit of lipstick. Earrings too. It will feel so strange to be sitting with no mask, eating, having tacos and a beer with other people around. It will give me a chance to practice being sociable.

This morning I did more drawings of daisies and coreopsis growing among the weeds by the shed.  My yard man is woefully overdue.

Til later…

 

Much Much Better

Posted on by Sandy Webster

Yesterday we walked the other side of the river at the Riverwalk in Murphy. It is beautiful and so well maintained. I gathered goose feathers to do drawings of while waiting for phone calls.

We moved Lee yesterday to a nursing home just twenty minutes from me and near the walks at the dam. He was not exactly who our son was but took the hour drive good naturedly going from one place to another. The new people seem as happy to have him as the other place was glad to see him go after trying all they could legally do to treat him there, and coming up short.

We celebrated with the Copper Doors gift of a sumptuous Pinot Noir last night.

And this morning at the dam a lovely shot of fog finally lifting on our situation.

I just returned from moving everything but large pieces of furniture from Lee’s old room….just five weeks after I dropped him there. Now a bit more paper work and we can both settle down.

Til later.

Not Yet

Posted on by Sandy Webster

I think Lee is getting closer to being moved to the Nursing Home near me. It has been another week of distress as paperwork gets to the right places. It is so complicated and difficult to keep track of that I keep a stack of different pads of paper for each person involved as we work through the process.

Surely next week…..

In the meantime. Walks to the dam.

This morning I decided to look in the other direction and focus on things that depict a more hopeful perspective.

Surprises from friends and family.

Coated strawberries arriving via FedEx with a lovely note from “The Gs”.

A take out order of Oyster Shooters from a favorite restaurant that thoughtfully threw in popovers and a lovely bottle of Pinot Noir.

Patches needed to spend the night at the vets due to a severe upper respiratory infection. Patrick picked up the cat, the tab, and the oysters before coming back home. She is so much better.

I did another page in the book using an old print of myself on cloth. Then drawings of parts of sticks Lee brought in and a bourbon straight up.

It is nice having someone here to share meals with. It gives me practice with being around other people. Covid and Lee’s and my circumstances have had a way of keeping me isolated these past few years.

Today Patrick is putting in a higher speed modum for the computer system, installing a “see-all” camera for the doorbell/front door so I can see from the studio who is here. Then he will readjust the dryer vent outside so that I can reach it to clean the screen of accumulated lint.

And today I went back to carving.

This an old pine plank that I carved of a male figure based on some work I was doing on masculinity in graduate school. Now I am completely removing that section of “feelings” to fill in with smaller prints of how things change in the life of a man. How “what matters” is so temporary. I would like a long series of them in a row on some Japanese kozo paper that will take the number of male figures I would like.

It feels good to carve away what was there and think about the small carvings that will fill each one’s center.

Til later…..

 

 

It Did Not Get Better

Posted on by Sandy Webster

I like this odd couple. They just go through their lives thinking it will all be just fine. But sometimes it isn’t.

The Nursing Home gave their one bed to a patient already in their care who took a turn for the worse. Lee would be on a waiting list. A scramble is now on to find a place for him. The cost per month will double. Assets will need adjusting.

His decline resulted in sitters that needed paying out of pocket were called in for twelve hour shifts to stay with him at night. His medications have been adjusted.

I walk the dam each morning to clear my head and prepare for the next bit of news that I no longer expect to be good.

The full moon was setting late last week when worries overt00k every minute of the day. Now our son has arrived to help me keep it together.

To add to problems our cat Patches is wheezing and snorting. She is also losing weight. A vet appointment in two days.  Sadie our other cat just keeps looking for Lee.

My latest addition to my sketch book from last week.

I am practicing sitting in his chair. I am reading a book. I am making calls. I am getting offers to help…but with what! I am saving one friends kind offer of bringing his truck and driving two hours to get here and haul things to one place or another. I am saving him as a gift to myself to have him come down and carve wood blocks with me. Someone in the studio would be wonderful when I have Lee settled yet again.

Movers can be called when I need to bring all those things to make Lee feel at home need to come back home. And Patrick has his truck and can do it if necessary. But for now we wait and hope they can manage Lee until another place is found.

It will get better….just not as soon as we hoped. The sun still comes up.

This morning.

Til later…..