The Order of Things Archives - Page 80 of 153

Staying Home – Thinking of Australia

Posted on March 13, 2020 by Sandy Webster

Lee and I went out to gather anything that would make a spring bouquet today. Then I added in the last of the Eucalyptus from doing some additional contact printing. I took the two long concertina folded sheets, removed two pages after folding to make it two sided. Then used a taupe colored thread to tie off in two places where the valley folds are on each side. So the book is two sided with two sections tied back to back. I will figure out a cover later when I figure out what to draw into the contact prints. And here is my latest attempt at a Mountain Laurel stem for the six way wildflower book. I might have to come up with another name for it because I will tire of wildflowers long before I finish this one sixth of the book.

Also keeping up with drawing a day.

A little spreader

that’s made from birds eye maple.

Hardly ever used.

Laser cut designed

little spreader that came with

a small matching board.

Interesting grain

patterns on this cheese spreader

of lovely maple.

Another paddle –

this one is a dark walnut,

not used for some time.

And the latest double page of wildflowers before the mountain laurel page.

Just when I think I am getting better, the paintings look pitiful again. But I am keeping at it.

And because friends are now taking workshops in Australia, I am surrounding myself with things to stay in touch vicariously.

Used Eucalyptus leaves because they still smell divine along with the dyed strings. And of course, Yellow Tail Chardonnay for old times sake. And just this morning, my malted cookies that I will savor as they gather together later to munch on the Very Best Malted Cookies I Ever Ate.

Have a great time, girls, and send pictures when you can.

Til later.

Thank You – Bit Better Today

Posted on March 11, 2020 by Sandy Webster

When Lee was first diagnosed with dementia I knew that my life had suddenly changed. I sat and folded folios like this one and gessoed them, drew images of how that felt and then stitched around the edges to keep myself centered and contained.

I colored them with the earth pigments from my home and tried to draw how things were going with my emotions and the sudden knowledge that my foundations of home, fifty year relationship, artwork, all of it had shifted.

I made several of these and then folded them up and put them into a wooden box with many more that never were gessoed or drawn on or stitched.

I need to get them back out and pay attention to the marks that could inspire words. I can still write. Words on a page will be something I can do on those legal pads I keep down in the studio to write poetry, or a story. The pads will be moved upstairs with smooth, fast writing ballpoint pens that can keep up with me.

In the past two days I have picked myself up and got on with it. Friends have sent nice emails and messages. And almost everyone of them made no assumptions or judgments on how I am floundering about at times. I am in pretty deep waters here. Lee and I will be fine. It’s my job and three times a week I get some help. Like right now a very young blue-eyed blonde girl has shown up to be with him, and I am not sure he has stopped smiling.

And tomorrow is our day for lunch at the brewery.

Today he helped me unwrap a second bundling of Eucalyptus leaves and seeds from more of the silk shirt and good paper.

The colors are not as rich as before but fine to work with. Not sure what I will do with them but for now they are so soothing in their wonderful smells of down under. In not too many hours my friends there will be unpacking workshop essentials at their accommodations at Halls Gap in the Grampians. Then heading off to dinner and loads of hugs. I send them bunches of mine.

Besides being emotionally all over the place this week, I finished this piece of lino carving.

My plan is to ink this up with a very soft light grey and then overprint it in a black stark image.

Now that caregivers come it is safe to spread out the inks and stick with the process for hours at a time. I will post pictures of how that goes. First thing is to make up several of these “backgrounds”, hang them to dry while I carve the bold images that go on top.

Another friend will arrive soon to manage her partner’s property here. She asked to buy a copy of my poetry book, Distance Matters, for someone who liked hers. This is the poem that helped her deal with her loss and I am going to read it more often myself.

Inner Navigations

We do not plan

the journey of our interiors,

but hold steady, go slow,

and ride the tide

into harbors of memory.

More later.

This Comes With A Warning – Staying Up on the Down Side

Posted on March 9, 2020 by Sandy Webster

You are welcome to just skip this one and wait for something better, something pretty, something fun. This may not be your cup of tea.

I am holed up in the office downstairs. This Leunig cartoon showed up on my facebook page this morning. It came on the heels of long distance kindness. Saturday a note came from two old neighbors that were part of our kids childhood. Tears flowed down my face as I read such nice words that they think of me often and hope I am hanging in there. They read my blog just to catch up on Lee and I.

Sunday morning we are at the diner for breakfast. Lee is not in a particularly pleasant mood….which is rare nowadays. He says that he doesn’t want to be there. Without warning again tears drip down as I think, “Is this one more thing I am losing?”

The day before I was talking with my daughter and told her that I honestly think I have lost myself. Now I was thinking that those years of Sunday breakfasts were coming to a close….those silly napkin wrapper things that were something to smile about might be over. I used my napkin to wipe tears away when Lee said I looked sad. He told me his omelette was good to make me feel better. And I told him that I would not count on us always having to go to breakfast on Sunday mornings, that I would ask him first if he wanted to go. We left it there.

And this morning an email from a friend in St. Louis catching me up on her husbands illness as she cares for him. She has in home care assisting, she has relatives that check in daily along with her friends, and her art group has set up a meals delivery service to help her out.

We picked the wrong place to live. I only have the paid for friends of home care. Someone stays with Lee for four hours three times a week so I can come downstairs and do something on my own. Work in the studio on something that I have no idea what to do with afterwards, write on my blog about times when it all seems too much.

I know there are people out there who are in similar situations and they read my words that sometimes help, but not today. Today is a letting-it-out day.

Today is not the time for a once a week call to tell me all the fun things you are doing and the great places you are going. Not today.

It took a couple of months for an out of town friend who regularly visits the folk school to let me know that she could not interest anyone she knew here to come by and check on us…check on me. The only surprise there was she remembered to tell me after two months of, “I am going to get someone to come over.”

I will not take Lee away from the only place he knows. Our doctors are here. We both need that security right now. But I will leave eventually with few regrets….and find a new home closer to those who send the type of kindness that brings tears to my eyes.

On a lighter note for those of you looking after someone with dementia. This morning Lee was thrashing around in the bathroom. He couldn’t get his pants open. On inspection, he had put on two pairs of shorts…one frontwards and one backwards. I told him to pull the whole bunch of clothes down and just sit. I told him,”I’ve been doing it for years and it works just as well.” We both laughed at that.

And lately he knows his arms are supposed to go in the sleeves of his shirt but he has been going up the sleeves from the wrist end and comes to find me with no idea what comes next. When we get the shirt worked off and I remind him to climb up through the bottom he says, “Boy am I stupid.” And I tell him that with two arms things are just twice as hard to figure out….and he is satisfied with that and we move on.

Now he is upstairs with his care giver. The care this one gives is to just sit with him and talk or watch TV. The other one has him doing exercises for his range of motion and memory. He laughs more with the one who makes him move.

I am going to go over to the studio and pick up the papers and cloth that I dyed with Eucalyptus. I am going to bury my nose in them and think of my long distance friends in Australia who are getting ready to head to the Grampians and take workshops, and have flat whites, and try not to buy too much cloth and paper and thread……and….

And I am going to pull myself together. Suck it up.

And as soon as five o’clock comes and the caregiver leaves, I am having a good full bodied single malt and pouring Lee a Southern Comfort….and we will go on the porch and remember better times…..and smile.

Til later.

Success in the Dyepot!

Posted on March 8, 2020 by Sandy Webster

These are the three strips of Fabriano paper that were placed between tiles, then bundled with muslin and tied. The muslin is mostly mottled grey patterns caused by the resist of the string and wrapping.

I treated myself to the only bunch of Eucalyptus at the grocery store just so I could feel closer to friends down under this week and decided to go further and do some contact prints on the paper and the old silk shirt that has now been ripped into useful pieces.

Pretty nice aren’t they? Thank you Lorraine for your suggestions to get a better contact on a better quality paper. Right now the pot has more of the silk shirt pieces and another full sheet torn into five strips. I cook them in the same water I added onion skins and Eucalyptus leaves and stems to for two hours and then take the bundles out to sit for another forty-eight before unwrapping. I did reuse all the leaves and seeds plus a few fresh ones in today’s bundles.

It smells like Australia in here and makes me very happy.

Here is the Bush Book all covered and with a contact print collar to keep it together.