Drawing, Haiku and Kitchen

Since I last posted on this blog about my drawings a day plus haiku, I have done more.

The old stone lantern

is waiting for a reason

to show me the way.


I am making blue

from the great sea of sadness.

It has me smiling.

Is there anything

more inviting to the touch

than a sleeping cat?


Lean on each other.

The slightest touch and you know

to keep on going.

The spoon stirs the pot

of everything we will need

to feel satisfied.


He holds his arms up

begging me to release him

from expectations.

That last one is a piece of pottery that separates in the middle and is a container. When I bought if from a friend I told him I was going to put slips of paper with everything I wanted a good man to be written on them. Of course it was perfect to inspire this drawing and haiku.

Today Lee watched me prepare meals for the freezer. The other day he chopped onions for me….today he seemed uninterested in helping with that but liked tying up the garbage bag and taking it out to the garage. Each day it is different with what he wants to do. He seems sadder lately. The other day we both had a good cry…he because he realized after trying several times, that he can no longer sign his name. Me, because of everything else. We solved it by blowing our noses and having a drink on the porch with memories of better times.

So back to today.

Roasted butternut squash and pumpkin.

Pans of lasagna.

Roasted onions to add to soups, etc.

And pumpkin seeds.

A catch up on collecting tears. They dry up in the vials before you can get enough to work with. They are a bit cloudy, not the clearness I had hoped for. All that is really left in there is a thin layer of dustiness…nothing close to the amount of sadness felt….no evidence of that at all. But I still love the idea of that physical evidence of grief. A mascara smudged tissue just is not the same. Maybe some day I will be able to put into words what didn’t stay in the vial. Maybe.

A friend of a neighbor came to the studio yesterday. I loved her interest in what I had been doing since the last time she was here about six months ago. It felt good to talk with someone who is interested and really listens. It made me want to start making again but right now just is not the best time.

I need to find that “paid for friend” who will come and give me some time alone. I might call our doctor this week and get some suggestions on how best to get through this next phase.

Til later.